Golf Club Wasteland Review – Toff Apocalypse

Disclaimer – A review code for Golf Club Wasteland was provided by Demagog Studio.

What would happen if the world became a barren, uninhabitable wasteland, and most of the human race died in the exodus to Mars? Golf Club Wasteland answers that question in a way that is, honestly, fairly accurate. In short, future Musk’s, Gates’, and Bezos’ will fly down now and then to have a round or two of put-put on ‘ol Gaia’s corpse. What an outlandish, yet eerily believable, plot to base a game around, aye?

Musk, Gates, And Bezos Walk Into A Bar…

Let’s get down to business, Golf Club Wasteland is a brisk 4-hour experience where you play a 2D variant of Golf. The actual mechanics surrounding the golf are fairly simplistic, only really having a direction to pick, and the amount of power to apply. The game opens up fairly simple and allows budding club-bearers to get to grips with some fairly basic courses.

The game does ramp up, however. Not in terms of mechanics, but in terms of course design. You are on a desolate, crumbling earth after all. Courses stop being these straight-shots and suddenly start encompassing run-down apartments, sewer systems, and even the occasional giraffe. Every course feels pretty darn unique, and it helps drive the game forward.

Golf Club Wasteland astronaut playing golf on an abandoned construction site

It’s not quite enough to carry the game, unfortunately. Even with a relatively short runtime, Golf Club Wasteland started to overstay its welcome. Around about the halfway mark, I had my fill of the gameplay, so those final hours started to drag. On the plus side, Golf Club Wasteland is very accessible. If you ever get stuck on a course, the game will give you the option to skip it, allowing practically everyone to see the end credits – which is a nice touch for a game this laidback.

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Truly, the selling point of Golf Club Wasteland is its story – if it can be called one. Chugging along in the background is a constant stream of Martian news broadcasts, PSAs, interviews, and music – all of which are excellent. You get little glimpses into what earth was like before the fall, how nightmarish the evacuation was, and how sterile life on Mars is. What’s more, it’s all done in an offputtingly upbeat kind of way, with the soporous tones of the host acting like the universe’s gentlest dose of propaganda.

For the challenge seekers out there, Golf Club Wasteland also comes with a few additional modes that make the golfing a smidge more stressful. Acting as a hard mode, players are required to achieve the Par before they progress, and honestly, that is quite the ask. I didn’t spend much time here since I was already tired of teeing off, but it’s content for those who want more.

Golf Club Wasteland Hipster Pubes and glowing cows

Where the gameplay falls off, I couldn’t help but play more of the game just to listen to the excellent voice acting and surreal music Golf Club Wasteland was peddling. Graphically the game looks fantastic too, with a minimalistic art style, characterful animations, and varied locales. My only gripe is with the rather out-of-place signage that litters the environments, some of which are bizarrely childish and diminish the otherwise brilliant presentation.

Overall

Golf Club Wasteland is not a game I would normally play or enjoy, however, I found myself compelled to continue regardless. While the gameplay itself is a tad on the stale side, the background elements were compelling enough to carry the game to the end credits. If you are in the mood for a relaxing evening of golf, then this game might be worth a gander.

7/10

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